Perpetual Randomness

Call me Carmz.

20. Political Science Graduate. Filipina. Ilocana. Paulinian. Thomasian. Now a Bedan. Aspiring lawyer. So wish me a gazillion luck!
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Something that would make this day perfect.

(via picsandquotes)

I think the dream catcher in my wallpaper is working. Lol. Despite bad feelings yesterday, my dream was wonderful, hence a really good morning 😊

After hours of thinking and processing, I’ve realized only now that I have been (once again) used. How surprising!

And I can’t seem to find it in me to hate the user bastard. The only reason I can see here is that the person is confused.
You know, you could have just told me. I could have helped you figure yourself out. But you chose to use me instead. Whatever you’re confused about, I beg you please don’t involve me any longer. I refuse to get hurt by someone like you anymore. I think you’ve given me too much to bear, too much to think about. I never did anything to you as far as I remember. I have been consistently nice to everyone. I try to be. Always. And if I think about it clearly, we haven’t really talked that much. I don’t think I really know much about you. So I find it hard to understand why must you do this to me. Why you had to do that? I have always wanted to ask. But I guess I’ll never know why because I really wouldn’t want to talk to you. I don’t hate you. I can’t get mad no matter how I try. I just don’t want to.

And so from now on, I resolve that I stop thinking about it, stop tolerating everything and learn to actually speak up, stop myself from being taken for granted damn it!

Now that was some big ass cowardice. And it just broke my self-confidence. Thanks a bunch.

I was expecting to attend 3 weddings this year, 2 of my cousins and my brother. But looks like they are all having troubles and now only my brother is (somehow) sure (?). I hope they all work it out though.

And for a while I thought I could care but it’s obviously unwanted. I still care though but I’m going to try and stop from now on.